During our first year of marriage, I read a book about the
first year of marriage. Imagine that! It wasn’t a
great book; I think the author could have summed up his points in a few
pages. Nevertheless, he stated 5 things
a wife should give to her husband, and I have kept these in mind since then:
1.
An Attractive spouse
2.
Domestic support
3.
Sexual fulfillment
4.
Adoration
5.
Recreational companionship
I’d love to know if you agree with these, especially if you're a man.
I have often wondered what the list would look like for the
husbands. Tonight, as I lay on the couch
and tried to figure out what in the world my problem was this question occurred
to me again. Oddly enough, I came up
with a few answers. Now, I know that men
think that women are complicated, but I really think it boils down to 3 simple
things:
1. I need him to be the SPIRITUAL LEADER of our family.
2.
I need him to PROVIDE for our family’s needs and
some of our wants.
3.
I need to know that I’M IMPORTANT to him.
I’m confident that the next question will be, “how can I
make you feel important?” Well, you can’t
really make me feel anything. Part of the
responsibility is mine, because I can interpret almost any gesture as affectionate
or malicious. My perspective may be a
little off at times, and I need to work on that. However, I believe that if he makes an effort
(of any kind!) to show that he really does value my presence in his life, I
will know it. Listening to what I have
to say, no matter how trivial it may seem, makes me feel valued. Watching a show that I like once in a while
says, “You’re important too.” Asking for my opinion is huge.
As for spiritual leadership, to me this means initiating spiritual activities, modeling and enforcing godly values, and prayerfully considering decisions before they are made. Confession: it's hard for me to relinquish the reigns of leadership here. But by letting go of the illusion of control, I am trusting in and empowering my husband.
When I say providing for our needs and wants, I do not mean that he is the sole bread-winner. I simply mean that by taking on the responsibility for family finances, the wife can trust that she'll be taken care of, come what may.
So there are my late-night ramblings for today. This note is for informational purposes only and is not
intended to be instructional or demanding.
